ARE WE NOT MEN?: The ManUp MANifesto

This blog is about two men recognizing their deficiencies as men and trying to make the transition from arrested development to adulthood, with caveats.

Before we begin, let’s define the term “Man Up”. Urban Dictionary has several definitions, and while all of them are accurate and apply to the task at hand, it’s definition #4 that comes closest:

Man Up: to fulfill your responsibilities as a man, despite your insecurities and constant ability to place yourself in embarrassing and un-manly scenarios.

This seems like a painfully obvious task up-front, but actually accomplishing the goal in this day and age is proving more difficult than it once was. We are two men in our mid-thirties, and our generation is in a perpetual state of arrested development. The causes of this are manifold, we are discovering. While there are many factors that contribute to our stunted growth as adults, what makes this behavior manifest is a culture that not only enables but fosters it.

More than anything else, though, it was finding that our fellow cohorts in post-adolescent bliss were dwindling, and more and more we were surrounded by (gulp) babies, while we smiled and nodded and pretended to know about mortgages and the hassles of home ownership, acted interested when talk turned to the market and its effect on 401k plans, and congratulated others on promotions, raises and other life-affirming career pursuits. All the while, as we endured these and other cringe-inducing grown-up realities, our thoughts strayed to getting home and trying to track down an mp3 of some obscure b-side, or jumping back into Grand Theft Auto to cap one of the bosses, or (insert sophomoric method of wasting time here). Gradually, though, we began to realize that we might be falling behind, that our stunted growth was keeping us from moving on with our buddies, our colleagues, our wives (where applicable), our generation. Denial gave way to a confused but palpable instinct to “grow up”.

So, how the fuck do we do that? Changing behavioral patterns that have become ingrained, if rote, seems insurmountable at times. The instinct is still strong to stay up late playing video games, download music to add to our massive collections, drink and get high, indulge our addictions to media of all kinds, debate the merits of this movie or that album, and generally focus our attention on shit what matters not at all. Anything to avoid responsibility, ambition and matters of substance.

The purpose of this blog is to share our exploits on this journey. There is no guarantee that we will reach our destination, but this is our forum to honestly detail our struggle to escape the grey area between extended adolescence and manhood, to define our destination in an age where those boundaries are not so clear, to explore the reasons why it is difficult to make the distinction, and to occasionally indulge in rants, raves, top-ten lists, and opinions about video games, comic books (or graphic novels, if you prefer), the merits of Black Sabbath and Kool Keith, politics, dick jokes and all kinds of other social observations about meaningless drivel. We do this because we know full well that we are not alone, and that there will be those who will want to share the journey, or perhaps live vicariously through us as they decline to meet this particular challenge. All are welcome to follow along, and comment on our mission.

Therefore, we are resolved:

TO be honest and forthcoming about our successes and failures, our attempts and lack thereof, our intentions and reservations;

TO debate the merits and pitfalls of adolescence versus adulthood, and deconstruct the modern man-child;

TO express ourselves openly, whether confessional, condemning or self-indulgent;

TO share our own insights and knowledge that we have gathered along the way;

TO never censor others’ commentary on our posts, whether critical, supportive or indifferent (spam and flaming, though, serve no purpose here);

TO actually make the effort to a) figure out where we’re going and why, b) reach the goal even while looking back, and c) not allow this blog to become yet another pastime that distracts us from our mission.

This is our manifesto to Man Up and take charge of our lives. We welcome you to join us, monitor us, criticize us, support us and laugh at us or with us.